Abroad in London: Excerpts from My Journal

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The weather was so gorgeous my first week in London. It made me hope that it’d never rain while I was here.

Here I am! Doing my fall semester of senior year in London! I’ve been here for nearly two months now and it feels like such a long and short time all at once. I have so much to tell and show but I still need some time processing it all. Anyway, here are some excerpts from my journal of my journey so far:

Tuesday, Sept. 15: “I’m getting so antsy! 4 more days until I’m finally free and I can blossom in London. I’m trying to keep my expectations to a minimum but I’m so excited, I’m shaking!”

Friday, Sept. 18: “My flight to London is tomorrow. I’m shaking like I’m so incredibly nervous. My heart is racing and I can’t sleep. I want to run 10 miles but also sink into the worn springs of my bed. Oh, f–, I just want to throw up. I can feel this disgusting sensation well up in the back of my throat and I just want out. I’m a mess! Was I this nervous when I went to Australia?”

Saturday, Sept. 19: “My plane had technical difficulties mid-flight so the pilot decided to turn around and get back to the airport.”

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My Newark to London flight took a long time to get to its destination.

Sunday, Sept. 20: “I feel so lonely. It’s so weird to start brand new and this time, I really am alone because at least when I was in Australia, I had the other Rotary Exchange students. Man, I know I can be social and friendly but I’m out of my element. I’ll take this time for myself to chill, regroup, re-focus my energy. I do miss my friends though. I wish they were in London with me so we could experience this together. I’m not homesick. I’m comfortsick. I just want one familiar something that can ease my mind.”

Monday, Sept. 21: “It’s rainy and gray and miserable like me. Was it always this hard? I’ve never felt so lonely like get it together! If I’m lonely, at least I’m lonely in London.”

Saturday, Sept. 26: “Everything feels okay. I’m out on Primrose Hill now and I can see all of London sprawled beneath me. It looks so surreal because you just see trees and green and all of a sudden you see gray buildings like trees themselves.”

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One of my sanctuaries, Primrose Hill.

Friday, Oct. 23: “I think I like London a little bit better. I think our rhythms are a little more in sync. While I was fast-paced but steady, London was (still is) more erratic, syncopated, with way more stops and starts (off-beat too) than I was used to. It took a while, kind of like smashing my head on a keyboard, but we’ve managed to find a rhythm that suits us both. Currently, it moves like a river, some parts fast, some slow, probably pouring out into a gentler lake.”

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